Day 7

Finally, the day of the real wedding. Due to the previous evening, the morning was basically shot. We rolled out for some grub sometime around 1pm, and then sat around for the afternoon watching the workers on the main lawn below. They constructed a large stage, a smaller stage for the ceremony, food serving areas all around, and an array of white tables. Later on, we watched workers carrying in enormous (40 gallon?) pots of food.

Around 6pm, after we had all gotten dressed, we got into a couple cars and drove about half a mile down the road where Dennis's white horse and the band was waiting for us. Normally the bridegroom's side of the family would walk with him to the ceremony, dancing in front of the horse, but that would have been really lame with only five of us (who don't know how to dance!) so some of Swati's side was kind enough to act as "loaners" for us and put on a better show.

The whole walk/dance took at least half an hour, and was a hell of a lot of fun. A bit hot for all the dancing, but conveniently there were guys walking along with us serving cold drinks. The uniformed band was great, surrounding us with their blasting brass instruments and high-powered drums, along with a guy sitting in a pushcart and playing the wild melodies on an overdriven keyboard. I think Dennis rather enjoyed sitting on his horse behind us (being shaded by his personal umbrella-carrier) and watching us be goofy. As a bonus, I had the evil eye removed from me along the way. Sweet.

We entered the gate of the Turf Club and were greeted by Swati's family. The five foreigners were welcomed with garlands of flowers placed around our necks, and then had our foreheads dotted by Swati's mother. After a few minutes, Swati appeared and all the main supporters gathered on the stage. She easily placed the flowers around Dennis's neck, but then when it was his turn, her side quickly lifted her up in the air, and only after we boosted Dennis up was he able to get them around her neck. So it was obvious early on that there wasn't a lot of formalism at this event.

After some quick pictures on the main stage, the party moved over to the stage for the ceremony. The whole time, people were just kind of milling around, coming and going, some paying attention to the ceremony for a few minutes, then chit-chatting, etc. Dennis could have had a monkey stand in for him and I'm not sure that a whole lot of people would have even noticed.

Ok, now on to the shoe-stealing part of the event. When the bridegroom removes his shoes to sit down for the ceremony, it's the job of the young girls on the bride's side to steal them, and the job of the guys to stop them. First, let's make it clear that as Tony, Arjan, and myself were the only shoe-protectors, we were clearly outnumbered. Secondly, we have absolutely no experience in these matters, so that was another disadvantage. That said, we did a completely miserable job at guarding the shoes. Within half a second of Dennis removing his shoes, they were gone. And the only way we knew was because there were some girls suddenly running across the lawn. We sprinted them down, but they threw some laterals and the shoes were gone forever.

Once we determined that we weren't going to get the shoes back, Tony brought out another pair that he had bought earlier, and we replaced them on the steps near Dennis. We're so clever. And this time we were ready. Arjan and I stood guard on either side of the shoes, while Tony roamed the perimeter. After a couple of seconds, Swati's brother Varun strolled by, and helpfully picked up the shoes, presumbably to suggest a more secure place to store them. "Good idea", I thought. Except then he strolled over to the girls and handed them right to them! Argh! Well, they're supposed to end up with the shoes at some point anyway, but it would have been nice to make it a little more difficult on them!

During all of this and least for the next hour the ceremony was going on, with family and friends swapping out places sitting around the couple. I didn't follow it too closely, but there was some fire, some smoke, some color, some oil, and lots of Sanskrit. And then, without a whole lot of fanfare, they were done. Which meant it was time for Dennis to pay the girls to get his shoes back, the poor guy.

From that point on, Dennis and Swati sat up on the stage greeting the 500+ guests streaming past, while everyone else socialized and ate. Some of the British folks we'd met at the pubs and invited to the wedding actually did show up, but with no alcohol or dancing, they missed all the best stuff.

Keeping the evening interesting for me was a girl from Swati's side who had decided to use me as a practice dummy for her already-considerable flirting skills. "We must be careful that no one sees us, Indian families are very conservative!" she told me at one point, though she herself seemed to fall nowhere near this "conservative" category. For myself, I wasn't too concerned about my family finding out, but I didn't want to unwittingly cause an offense amongst the Indian families (also, my lack of knowledge of the age of majority in India kept me wary!) so I told myself to keep my distance. However my task was made quite challenging by the fact that she was really cute, and well-studied in all the manners of a Bollywood starlet. Smith, she called me, for some guy from Manchester United.

From a socio-cultural perspective (which is absolutely the only reason why I'm writing about this, you know!) it was totally new experience. At one point, she (and her friends) followed me when I went up to my hotel room, and as we all stood there talking innocently in the hallway, she would jump every time she heard footsteps coming, concerned that someone would see us. It felt like I was suddenly living in some kind of Victorian period piece. In the end, absolutely nothing happened from my perspective beyond some harmless flirting, but she was still quite concerned that no one find out. Well, no one reads the Internet, do they?

Before the night could before, Dennis had to secure the release of himself and his bride from the premises, again with the shoe-stealers guarding the gate, and again with money being the object. After intense negotiations, we were free to go up to our rooms, and the girls free go have a really nice shopping spree.